Relationships, particularly marriages, sometimes don’t go as well as they are planned. Fairy-tale romances are definitely rare. Infidelity is a major problem that affects a lot of relationships. Usually, it is the man cheating on his woman, though the reverse is not uncommon as well. Some women are just too naive or seem to pretend their husbands are not cheating on them. Each case is different, but whatever it is, women should not let their cheating partners get away with it. Aside from it showing disrespect, it proves their partner was not worth their trust and affection they gave. So this is a list of “tells” that will give you a clue your man is possibly cheating on you, like the proverbial “lipstick on his collar,” these signs may be evidence of infidelity. What you do about it will all be up to you.
Unpredictable Or Uncommon Behavior
After being together for some time, you probably know your partner quite well. His mannerisms, moods, and daily routine. When something strays from the norm, you should realize there is something wrong. Given that health reasons are ruled out, it must mean something else. Rely on your instincts, it could mean he’s having an affair, or about to. One possible sign of infidelity is that suddenly he needs more privacy, or is unusually quiet. Some men try to hide their sins by wanting to be alone…it may be a guilt response. Try to be more approachable and not vindictive, until you have real proof. Hopefully, you can get a confession out of him, good luck.
He Buys You Lots Of Gifts All Of A Sudden
A Sudden Change In Sexual Appetite And Style
Irritable and Picks Fights With You
Change In Weight Or Appearance
Most cheating men change physically as well. Sudden weight loss, and concern about their appearance, may be tells of an affair. You don’t have to be a poker expert to tell that these are signs of a bad “hand.” Even behaviors like shaving often when he usually would not, using more cologne than before, fussy about his hair length or cut, are signs that something is really different. Cheating men do want to impress their lovers, they don’t want to lose them. So be aware of these changes, and don’t just shrug them off. Also remember, men with these symptoms are more or less ready to leave you.
Lots Of Overtime Or Late Night Outs
Secretive About His Devices
Hiding His Financial Transactions
Most cheating men will find ways to make some expenses and financial transactions untraceable. Using the credit card will surely give them away. So, some resort to purchasing debit cards and open a PayPal account for certain transactions. Some will stick to using cash only. Whatever the case may be, it is never fool-proof. They will eventually make a mistake, but even before they do, you may notice their change in how they handle finances. Again, if you live with someone for some time, different quirks in their behavior should be easily noticed. Most likely you will have a joint savings or checking account. Big and unaccounted withdrawals are surely suspicious so watch your accounts well.
Defective Memory And Losing Track Of Details
Men who have mistresses often get confused as to what they did with whom. He may talk about a restaurant he loved, and then you realize you have never been there. So who was with him? His memories may get mixed-up, and time spent with you will start to blur. He may also forget certain dates and occasions, and lose track of details. Even where he was on a given day, which may be time spent with the other woman. If you notice these problems, for sure something is astray so alert.
People who avoid eye contact normally have something to hide. Especially if it is a sudden change in their behavior. Avoiding eye contact is due to their guilt, experts say. They fear you will see through them, as the saying goes “the eyes are the mirrors of the soul.” And their soul is guilty as hell. Also if he suddenly has a shorter attention span, particularly towards you, his guilt is acting up. Probably his affair is playing loops in his mind, especially when he sees you.
Sometimes your gut instinct will elicit these emotions, even if you have no inkling your hubby is being unfaithful. Well, listen to your gut feel, as it is normally correct. This is a sign that your partner may be cheating on you. The anxiety may be due to certain factors that you probably didn’t think was important, but your instinct noticed it. Some women also get slight feelings of jealousy, but don’t know why. If these happen to you, be more observant. If your husband is cheating on you, there will surely be some signs. It is up to you to notice them.
Sometimes, cheating hubbies will not only shower you with gifts, but take you out more often, and to expensive places that you would not normally visit. Again, it is their guilt feeling, and the pretense that they love you so much and are willing to spend a bundle on you. Well, probably he spends a bundle also for the other woman. You just happen to be a defensive reaction. He may even plan a trip depending on how guilty he feels. When he sees you enjoying his “material attention,” it softens the guilt feeling. Well, do enjoy the attention, but be observant. There will surely be other tells. Cheating spouses will end up making some mistakes. You just have to be aware to notice them.
Lets face it, if you don’t know what music your partner likes, you have not been a good and attentive partner. If your hubby is, let’s say a hard core rocker, for example, and then suddenly shifts to jazz, something is amiss. It is not normal for sudden changes in music preferences. Obviously, his other woman has influenced his change. Or if he suddenly decides to take up fishing, especially if he hates the water, that is a sure sign that something is wrong. Besides, fishing trips with his “buddies” gives him an excuse to be away from home, and spend uncontested time with his lover. Things like these do happen. When it happens to you, then it is up to you to verify your suspicions. You could always take up fishing as well and join him. Check out his reaction carefully.
Reverse psychology no doubt. He probably thinks that if he is vocal about infidelity, it will mask his own. Some men think they can play mind games with their spouses. Don’t let that fool you, especially if he wasn’t that vocal about it before. Sudden new behaviors or interests pinpoint to a reason for the change. Cheating partners often believe that if they show you positive behavior, you will not notice their transgressions. So be aware of this behavior. Listen to your intuition as well.
Some men who are having affairs will rationalize their behavior by blaming their spouses for driving them to have an affair. You are supposed to be making them miserable and the marriage a flop. When you do something nice for them, the cheating husband will be shocked, and feel guilty. It will make them think about what they are doing. If you feel your hubby is cheating on you, try this tactic of being extra nice. While it doesn’t guarantee he will end the affair, it will at least make him think twice about it. Most times, if the guilt feeling is strong enough, cheating husbands will end the affair. Unless they are madly in love with their mistress.
Sometimes some close friends or family members will notice a change in behavior even before you do. They may notice some tension in your relationship, or a sudden change in your husband. When these happens and you are approached by them, don’t shrug it off. Listen to what they have to say. Sometimes these changes in mannerism may be trivial that you won’t give it much thought, but others who know your husband well will know that something is bothering him. Maybe he also became more aloof towards them, guilt can make people more distant. Hopefully, their concerns are not founded. But if they are, you should do something about it.
Most of us have a hard time sleeping when something is bothering us, it is human nature. Guilt is surely a bothersome one. Restlessness, exhaustion, and tossing and turning may indicate your partner is bothered by something. If he can’t talk about it with you, it may be something personal, like an affair. Particularly if his sleep disorders just came on suddenly. It could also be that he feels uncomfortable sharing the bed with you, as he is guilty of sharing the bed with another. Surely he has no problem sleeping in her bed. So be aware, and notice these little signs.
Guilt can make a person overly defensive about many things. It could lead to arguments, and sudden aggressiveness. For example, if you ask him what time he got home (after overtime supposedly), and he gets irritated and argues why you are checking up on him, something is wrong. It is a simple question which requires a simple answer. Being overly defensive about it may be a sign of guilt. Another example of being overly defensive is when he over explains things. He may start to ramble about something simple. Over talking about a topic unusually is a sign he is hiding something which bothers him.
If you know your man well, you will know how he reacts to many things. You will know how he acts when he is happy, angry, sad, stressed, tired, and so on. If he shocks you with a reaction not typical of his usual reactions, something is definitely wrong. For example, if you bumped the car, and expect him to get angry when you tell him, but suddenly seems like it’s all okay, he may be having an affair. He may feel that getting mad at you would be unfair to you. Why he doesn’t feel it is unfair to you to have an affair is a puzzle though. Or if he never misses a football game on TV, but decides to go out instead, well, think about it. Any deviations from the norm may mean he is hiding something from you.
Some cheating men actually suddenly become over jealous of their partners. Some may even accuse their wives of cheating, even though they know that they are the guilty ones. Being jealous about how much attention you are giving him is a sign that something is bothering him. Experts have found out that people tend to accuse their partners of the sins they themselves are doing, to deflect blame and guilt. So if he starts acting over jealous, you have an inkling he is having an affair. How you address the problem should depend on how well you know your husband. Being confrontational could be what they want, so they have an excuse to end the relationship with you. So be careful how you deal with the problem. It is never easy, do what you think is best for you. But avoiding it is surely the wrong thing to do.
This is a very strong indicator that he is hiding something from you. Cheating spouses end up lying often, even about small things. They have to cover their tracks, and telling lies is something most men rely on. Like lying about some expenses, about time spent, where they went, and so forth and so on. Some even make up stories, most likely to cover up the truth. In many cases, they end up believing their lies, the truth starts to blur. If you notice his remarks seem scripted, that is a sign he is hiding something from you. If he keeps on talking repeatedly about something as well, it is also a sign. People who lie will surely avoid eye contact for fear of being found out. So, take all these signs seriously if you want to know if your man is having an affair. Even if he is good at hiding it, chances are he will slip up. What happens then is up to you. Good luck.